


From the Mouths of Children

by lalaluma



Series: Babysitter!AU [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Babysitting, Demi-Girl Nott, Fluff, Gender-Neutral Mollymauk, I Wrote This in Two Sittings, I just wanted this and no one could stop me, M/M, M/M/Other, Mild Language, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 07:49:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13899585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalaluma/pseuds/lalaluma
Summary: Mollymauk is a babysitter who frequently watches Caleb and Fjord's kids, Jester and Nott.





	From the Mouths of Children

**Author's Note:**

> Zizi is the gender neutral term for Aunt/Uncle.

Molly had been in the baby/pet/house-sitting business for a long time now, and they prided themselves on getting to know their employers pretty well. After all, the better you knew someone, the safer they felt leaving you in charge of their valuables. Not that Molly had any nefarious plans for them, but they did like earning a little extra when they cooked a family’s favourite meal upon their return from a fun but exhausting vacation, or when kids demanded they come back again and again because they knew how to talk to them and play make-believe.

 

The first thing they knew about Caleb and Fjord was that they weren’t married, nor did they have any plans to be, but they might as well have been. Their family blended perfectly, as if they had never been two separate families in the first place. Fjord, being a little older by the looks of that streak of silver in his hair, had a slightly older daughter appropriately named Jester. She was eight and ¾ and while she visited her mother every other weekend, she clearly had no intent on ever leaving Fjord and Caleb’s sides.

Caleb, too, had a child from a previous relationship, little Nott who was just six years old. Nott seemed to have no memory of their mother, and never visited her, so Molly found it best not to question it. They didn’t want to strike a nerve or a sore spot with their most frequent customers.

 

The second was that the whole lot of them didn’t seem too judgemental about, well, anything really. Molly was used to people seeing their experience and being extremely enthusiastic about them, only to meet them in person and be put off by their leather and purple hair and plethora of piercings and tattoos. And while Caleb winced a little when they came in, Fjord didn’t bat an eye. They later learned that Caleb was only apprehensive because Jester, who’s hair Molly would later be invited over to dye blue, would surely want all sorts of piercings after seeing them glimmer against Molly’s lightly tanned skin. And she did. In the year Molly had been babysitting for them, Jester had gone from just one set in her ears to two, and begged for a third her father said he would only allow once she turned ten.

 

Molly, who knew what Jester really wanted was the cartilage piercings they showed off got her several pairs of earrings that had dainty chains attaching to cuffs that gave the illusion of a cartilage piercing.

 

And it wasn’t just body mods they were accepting of, they also were unphased by Molly’s gender. Or rather, their lack of gender. As it turned out, Nott was also questioning her gender, and was more of a demi-girl than just a girl. It warmed Molly’s heart to have someone so young approach them about the feeling of not fitting into a specific gender.

 

The third thing was that neither Jester nor Nott called Caleb ‘Dad’. At first this this concerned Molly deeply, worried that they didn’t accept him as their father, but they were assured this was not the case. Nott apparently also called Fjord by his first name, and while Jester was welcome to do the same, she preferred to call him ‘Dad’. Molly suspected this was because Fjord had a soft spot for it, and she knew she could get away with more that way.

 

“It’s like an Atticus Finch sort of thing,” Beau had explained while they were visiting her and Yasha, who had been the ones to set him up with this gig in the first place. Apparently Caleb and Fjord had agreed when they got together that they wanted to raise their children with the same respect they gave other adults, and honestly Molly found that it really had worked. Nott and Jester were both little tricksters, but they were respectful towards adults and some of the easiest kids to watch.

 

Though they had to admit, they melted when Nott and Jester asked to call them ‘Zizi Molly’.

 

The fourth was that both Caleb and Fjord got very lonely without the other around. Both had to travel sometimes as a Professor and a mostly retired Fisherman, and both had called them in when it was just the one of them watching the kids. It was partially for the help, yes, but it was also partially just for the company of another adult. Several times the two of them would fall asleep on the couch waiting for the other to come home.

 

Several times, when it was pretty late, either Caleb or Fjord would extend the offer of “Do you want to..?” And nod in the direction of the stairs and subsequently the guest room.

 

And every time Mollymauk would raise a hand and and shake their head. “I’m fine sleeping on the couch, thanks.”  
  
They always missed the shared look between Fjord and Caleb.

 

The final major thing they knew about Fjord and Caleb was that every year they went on a trip with Yasha and Beau. This year it was a three day cruise, during which Molly was staying with the kids. It was during these three days that Jester said something strange while Mollymauk was making dinner.

 

“Zizi is really great, it’s no wonder Daddy and Caleb like you so much,” Jester had sighed from where she was sitting at the table, drawing plenty of pictures for her imaginary friend.

 

“What do you mean by that?” Molly asked, their stirring slowing some.

 

“Well, technically, I’m not supposed to say anything, technically,” Jester kicked her little feet. “But Daddy and Caleb like you, like, _a lot_ . Like, _like-like_.”

 

That was new.

 

“Oh,” they squawked awkwardly, pasta forgotten completely.

 

“I once heard Fjord talk about your butt,” Nott piped in cheerfully.

 

“Okay, kids, that's enough of that,” Molly quickly turned the heat down and resumed stirring the pasta to avoid it boiling over, voice a pitch higher than usual.

 

“Do you like Caleb and Daddy, Zizi?”

 

Molly thought about it for a moment, before turning to the two of them. “Do you _really_ want to know?” Both nodded. “And you promise not to tell?” They nodded even more vigorously. Molly leaned in real low to be on their level, and whispered.

 

“ _That’s none of your business, you little gremlins_.”

 

Jester gasped, offended, and Nott squeaked.

 

Later, long after the kids had gone to bed, Molly stayed wide awake waiting for their parents to come home, Jester and Nott’s words echoing in his head. They jolted when the door clicked open, and whipped their head around to look at Caleb and Fjord as the two toed off their shoes.

 

“Sorry we are a little later than anticipated,” Caleb said, sounding a little run-down. Maybe now wasn’t the right time for this conversation…

 

“Don’t even worry about it,” Molly waved it off. “The kids were great, as usual,” He smiled weakly, and Fjord seemed to notice.

 

“Oh no, what did they do?”

 

Well, they were in it now, they might as well go all in. “It’s less something they did and more something they said?” Mollymauk said sheepishly. Caleb looked like a deer in headlights. “You guys...you weren’t inviting me to the guest room all those times, were you?”

 

Caleb immediately darkened red in the off-color light of the television, and buried his face in his hands, muttering something incomprehensible. Fjord placed a hand on his shoulder in a comforting manor. “No, we weren’t,” His voice was as thick and rich as it always was. “I hope this doesn’t put a strain on our professional relationship.”

 

“No, not at all, the opposite, actually,” Molly strode around the couch to be just within reach of the two of them. “I want in.”

 

“Fuck,” Caleb breathed.

 

“That’s the idea,” Molly winked at him.

 

“Now hold on,” Fjord stepped in. “We don’t do anything half-assed here. If you’re in, you’re in for the long haul. Dates, PDA, all that mushy shit, not just a quick fuck. You still sure you want in?”

 

“Is this you subtly telling me I’m fired?” Molly took a step closer to Fjord, looking up at him with a hint of mischief glinting in his eye. “Because honestly, I started to feel bad about taking your money when the kids started calling me Zizi.”  


“I guess we would have to find a new date night babysitter…” Caleb muttered, clearly not looking forward to the task at hand.

 

“So is that a yes?” Fjord asked, leaning down slightly to be on Molly’s level.

 

“You tell me,” Mollymauk wrapped his arms around Fjord’s neck and brought him in for a kiss.

 

“That’s hot.”

 

Fjord giggled against Mollymauk’s mouth. “You know...I did always want to try molly.”

 

“You ruined it.”

**Author's Note:**

> I listened to the Pop Punk Powerhouses playlist on spotify while writing this.
> 
> If you are in the upstate New York cosplay scene, I will be cosplaying a Clean!Caleb at Tora Con 2018. Hope to see you there.


End file.
